tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post7386666511718285191..comments2024-03-18T18:11:24.379-05:00Comments on Steece's Pieces: How Do You Find Balance?Suzannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14076514302874676735noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-62818947063623128772011-10-01T21:43:44.940-05:002011-10-01T21:43:44.940-05:00Thanks for this post. I've been struggling wit...Thanks for this post. I've been struggling with being a working parent and not being able to get it all done and wish I could be a sahm. I will say the time with my kids is the most important thing to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-43749913008178679672011-09-16T09:45:58.218-05:002011-09-16T09:45:58.218-05:00I mean this in the best sense: I seriously think ...I mean this in the best sense: I seriously think of people less fortunate than me: people starving in Africa, or working 18 hour days in a sweatshop. Then I remember that balancing things like Bible Studies and coffee dates and exercise and the people I love is a PRIVILEGE that many people don't have. I stop "balancing" and just enjoy the ability to do these different things, even if I don't do them "perfectly".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-68706085766169820882011-09-15T22:17:59.685-05:002011-09-15T22:17:59.685-05:00The answer is:
You will never balance it all, so ...The answer is:<br /><br />You will never balance it all, so the best thing you can do is DESTRESS. Do some of this today, and some of that tomorrow.. it doesn't even matter if you clean the house immaculately because it'll be a little messy before you say boo! And if you do "all" the laundry.. you will have at least 6 outfits in the hamper within a few hours.. <br /><br />let it go.. chill.. relax.. don't be a lazy sloth.. LOL but def stop looking for how to make all 33 pieces of the 10 piece puzzle fit. <br /><br />Hrmph! ;)Nicole Buserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04890940999406376395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-53167074255676962622011-09-14T11:21:23.711-05:002011-09-14T11:21:23.711-05:00I think it's all a continual balancing act. Ev...I think it's all a continual balancing act. Everyday, every moment, it's just trying to choose our priorities and do the best we can. <br /><br />Your life is so preciously unique. I can't even imagine having 4 all the same age :)Grandma Honeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09587160523698527979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-45707613618340227562011-09-13T20:44:05.388-05:002011-09-13T20:44:05.388-05:00Oh- have the kids help with what they can...it may...Oh- have the kids help with what they can...it may take a while to get them started and doing it, but let them help, and don't go back and clean it after them (the hard part)...My kids make their beds, sort dirty laundry, put their clothing away, empty/reload the dishwasher and sweep/mop the floors. it is not always to my standards, but they are learning and I didn't have to do it...I had to loosen up my standards and breathe...we will all get there..if I never have the killer body, that will be fine!Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08524591229908355016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-6372650644030591342011-09-13T20:39:10.587-05:002011-09-13T20:39:10.587-05:00Amen! I have 4 children (8 1/2, 7, 5 1/2 and 18 m...Amen! I have 4 children (8 1/2, 7, 5 1/2 and 18 months), have an amazing husband, am very active in our church and I teach middle school special ed. I struggle to find balance each day. What I have learned, is that I put God first...if I don't start my day with God, then it is doomed to be a bad day. Then my husband and kids come in. I do all I can to make sure once I am home from work to make them my priority- after kids are in bed, then Matt and I spend time together. I try to steal a few moments away for me every now and then, but work (school and house work) come last...Our home is rarely perfect, but my husband and kids know that I love them...There are days that it all gets done, but I am not perfect and by God's grace, my kids will grow remembering not how messy the house was or how I sometimes went on cleaning sprees, but that I loved them more than anything!Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08524591229908355016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-29964382297991247592011-09-13T16:38:59.324-05:002011-09-13T16:38:59.324-05:00I have three kids (12, 10 & 6), and our season...I have three kids (12, 10 & 6), and our season of life involves lots of time in the car. It's frustrating. I'm learning to let go of a lot and realize that I can't do it all. There is great freedom in embracing our imperfection! BUT making lists and keeping a detailed calendar helps a lot. Schedule in the things you can do, and let go of the things you can't. In addition to all the practices and rehearsals and soccer games, my calendar has things on it like "writing," "gym," "scrapbook," "read," and "date night." We've been married for almost 17 years, and we are still learning how to do that last one! But we've discovered that if it's not on the calendar, it's not going to happen.<br /><br />Suz, you are an amazing and inspiring woman & mom! Thanks for being so real with us, your sisters.<br /><br />PS: your post and others inspired this:<br />http://www.ftcomc.com/2011/09/keeping-all-balls-in-airor-not.html<br /><br />PPS: Your pedi ophtho, Dr. Norman, is with my husband in Vietnam right now! <br /><br />xoxoJenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14602014607643804189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-64859904386466530602011-09-13T15:52:04.590-05:002011-09-13T15:52:04.590-05:00I am a mother of 2 wonderful kiddos. ages 4 and 2....I am a mother of 2 wonderful kiddos. ages 4 and 2. I am also a nurse and work weekend option every Friday and Saturday night). I too have the same problems as you do. EVERY GREAT MOM does. That is what makes us great moms. We are trying so hard. It isn't at all possible to be perfect first of all. But secondly, it is hard to be great at all of the roles we play. You shouldn't be so hard yourself and try not be perfect all the time. BTW, I think I need to take my own advice. :) Good luck and let us know if you find out the answers!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-53187487027135801192011-09-13T13:06:50.095-05:002011-09-13T13:06:50.095-05:00I too struggle with that. I have 4 kids and work o...I too struggle with that. I have 4 kids and work outside the home too. I feel like once I'm caught up with everything there is a trail of mess behind me! haha A no win situation. The older my kids get the more time outside the home we are...crazy busy with sports/activities but I've learned to savor these moments now. My husband volunteers with most of the kids activities so that helps with the older 2 (9 and 7) and I drag the 2 littles ones (3 and 1) with to watch it all! haha but we try to make it fun! I was in a bad accident last year and since then I have put a new outlook on things and tried to regain focus on the most important. I still struggle too with things not be just right but I'm getting better! heheAnnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10996650784855601055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-14336086356784003472011-09-13T11:08:58.291-05:002011-09-13T11:08:58.291-05:00I think the key is to know that you can't have...I think the key is to know that you can't have it all, and to prioritize. I would like to see my friends more, but it just doesn't happen so I try to keep up via Facebook or email. I would like my house to be super clean but that isn't going to happen, so I try to keep it picked up. I would like a rock hard body, but settle for working out a few times a week instead. I can't cook every night, so I make extras to freeze so that I can just reheat and go. <br /><br />I realized last weekend that we spent all day Saturday running errands or doing housework - no one had any fun! Now I'm going to hire a babysitter to come every other week so I can run my errands then, and have fun with my kids on the weekend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-5993235820623762832011-09-13T10:56:56.420-05:002011-09-13T10:56:56.420-05:00I have 3 kids (not triplets, just singles). When ...I have 3 kids (not triplets, just singles). When I went from 2 kids to 3 I had a real "come to Jesus" moment where I had to accept that I just couldn't keep up with everything. It wasn't until a full year went by that I realized that I could keep up with it, but it was just going to be different with 3 kids. I had to shift from cleaning the house once a week top to bottom to cleaning one room a day. And instead of getting all the laundry done once and waiting a full week or five days to do it again- I do laundry every single day. A couple loads a day saved my bacon! I've found over the two years since my youngest was born that if I do a little every day, whether or not it seems to make a huge wow factor- it makes me feel like I'm on top of all of it. Getting enough sleep at night is crucial for every bit of it ever standing a chance to happen. Hang in there, Mama! There is balance with young children. :)Kerri Bhttp://family.chrisbobbett.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-43702588498442974612011-09-13T10:04:58.424-05:002011-09-13T10:04:58.424-05:00Well, since my children are grown and I have been ...Well, since my children are grown and I have been there and done that I can just say I know what you are going through, not that I had 4 at the same age the same time, but three at different ages and still wanted to spend time playing, cleaning, pleasing husband, pleasing me and God. I look back now and I can say...we did good, not always perfect, not always pleasant, but we did enjoy each other, the children had a good childhood and are very good adults and leading good lives. I know there were times the house wasn't perfectly clean and probably one child got more attention than the other, meals were "always" perfect but it just all works out. Bringing your children up in a good Christian home you can't go wrong. You'll are such great parents and your children are so healthy and happy, you'll are healthy and happy....what more can you ask for? You are doing a great job, just enjoy the moments and don't sweat the small things! Love ya Suzi and love reading your blog! You have a beautiful family! Your friend from east texas, Pam.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13300260371373267191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-80585453712348604692011-09-13T09:52:50.332-05:002011-09-13T09:52:50.332-05:00Hi Suz,
You don't know me but I am one of you...Hi Suz,<br /><br />You don't know me but I am one of your best friends! Well, we would be if I lived in Dallas, I just know it! Alas, I live in Las Vegas and will have to settle for reading about your adventures. Love the blog; I've been reading a while now since I have only one 4 yr old just a month younger than the quaddies. <br /><br />I read another blog called Motherhood Uncensored and just today she launched her new site, http://www.4kidsormore.com/. She has 4 of various ages and starting a site for support and encouragement for large families. It reminded me of your questions about balance so I thought you might be interested. <br /><br />Have a great week!Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17942938096385926262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-50492037011883070322011-09-13T09:24:26.273-05:002011-09-13T09:24:26.273-05:00Hello is this thing on? Really you look MARVELOUS ...Hello is this thing on? Really you look MARVELOUS and you had quads! Let's hope Savannah inherits you great genes to bounch back into shape... I am still working on mine almost 4 years later and I have 1 kiddo. <br /><br />Laundry, do a load every night before bed when the kids are asleep in the morning with your coffee fold the clothes. make this a nightly routine and laundry piles should not add up.<br /><br />What I have found works best for me is to have a home eliptical machine and a home gym this way I can work out before my hubby leaves for work and before I shower and wake my son up and we are out the door. this way it's morning and my workout is completed.<br /><br />Your home is spotless in your pictures... remember this if your kids are happy, healthy, clean and dressed, your husband and you are happy THAT is what matters. The floors can be cleaned later b/c your kids grow up way to fast! Look at them they are 4 and next year to be in kindergarten.. the days of babies are gone the days of preschool and on the go are here... be proud your do great and I know this by reading your blog! Suz your SUPER MOM with quads... I think you have better balance that you give yourself credit for.<br /><br />Your not a simple situation... you have 4 kids PLUS Joes and Shiloh!Momma and Her Doodlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01259361926569391453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-39732415835528926582011-09-13T07:45:07.510-05:002011-09-13T07:45:07.510-05:00Balance is a daily struggle in my life. After bein...Balance is a daily struggle in my life. After being laid off it was necessary to take a job working for a company that i KNEW had no line between work and life outside of work. Expectations are that if you can log on from home you can be available 24-7. I have spent a lot of time trying to define that line on my own. To set expectations that while although most employees work from home that does not mean that we are working 24-7. I have commited to working a very long day while my son is at day care and my husband is at work and then from the time they return home until my son goes to bed is FAMILY time. No exceptions. Unfortunately this often leads to working late nights but it gives me the time I need to commit to playing with my son, getting his dinner and his bedtime routine. Weekends are for family, if necessary I will put in a few hours during nap or after bedtime. Is this balance? I hightly doubt it.. its more self defense and hopefully it won't last forever and I can find a job that respects the line between work and family/life so that I can do a better job of staying on top of everything. For now the things that suffer are the 'me' time, the time i used to spend working out (although I do try and squeeze that in during the day) and sleep.. I guess everyone does what they need to to get through the day!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-48936938537432234222011-09-13T06:58:00.702-05:002011-09-13T06:58:00.702-05:00I don't think you can. You just do the best yo...I don't think you can. You just do the best you can. I have 4 boys ranging in age from 14-8 and if I'm not at work I am being a taxi to pep band, guitar lessons and other varies school activities. Plus my husband and I try to go to the gym 4 times a week. So we usually only have 3 homeccoked meals a week and I'm always tired but at the end of the day I know I'm doing the best I can and really I think that's all that matters. With this many kids someone is always going to get the short end of the stick.Kerihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02307470760846570027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-80054327065838290092011-09-13T04:41:09.198-05:002011-09-13T04:41:09.198-05:00I think you are doing a great job so far of keepin...I think you are doing a great job so far of keeping the balance in your family. Don't be so hard on yourself. Working outside the home, and taking care of the home is a tough balance to achieve for anyone!<br />As for us, we both work full time in demanding jobs, and have four kids (not quads, though hehe). We have found that by hiring someone to come in and clean the house weekly, as well as do our laundry, we have freed up so much quality time to spend with our kids. We found that we can only stretch ourselves so far each day. I used to stay up until 1am each night, getting the house cleaned, and laundry done, and then still getting up for work at 5am. It was wearing me out! So, hubby and I sat down and budgeted for our amazing housekeeper and it has truly saved my sanity. I love coming home to a sparkling clean home, and clean folded laundry. I literally hug my wonderful housekeeper each week, ha! We also budgeted for a wonderful landscaper to care for our yard. This frees my hubby up to spend that time with our kids. He used to spend hours mowing,raking, planting, shoveling snow, etc.<br />I do all my grocery shopping on the weekends, usually early Saturday morning before the kiddos even wake up so I do not take any time away from them. I make my list out the night before. <br />I recently started meal planning, and cooking extra meals for the freezer each week. Makes getting a good healthy dinner on the table a lot easier each evening since we are all getting home from work and school. All I have to do now is just take the meal out of the freezer the night before, and let it thaw in the fridge. When I get home, I just pop it into the oven, fix a tossed salad, and voila! dinner is done! I make enough meals on Saturday to cover us for Monday- Thursday. Every Friday, the kitchen is closed (as per my hubby's insistence), and as a treat we all go out to eat as a family (our kids take turns choosing the restaurant), and talk about our week and any upcoming plans for our weekend. Saturday mornings we go out for breakfast, and our kids all are involved in sports, so after we get home, we usually grill out. Sundays, we make french toast or pancakes in the morning, and either eat at my parents after church or at my in laws house.<br />As for school lunches, my kids and I make them together the evening before. I find it is good quality time, and teaches them the importance of making balanced and healthy lunches. I cut up a bunch of fresh veggies and fruit for the whole week, and bag them individually. I also boil a dozen eggs and keep in the fridge. I also will bake either cookies and brownies, and wrap them up as well. My kids love homemade muffins for breakfast, so I bake some of those too. Easy to grab from fridge when they are already portioned out ahead of time and wrapped. Saves a ton of time too! We either make sandwiches, or the kids like to take hot leftovers from dinner in thermoses. One of my kids loves grilled chicken salads, so she usually takes that, and some fresh fruit. Breakfasts on school mornings are usually simple and easy. Cold or hot cereal, frozen waffles, yogurt and granola, fresh fruit, muffins, hardboiled eggs. <br /> <br />We found that ever since hiring our housekeeper and landscaper, our weekends are now freed up to enjoy doing fun things as a family. No more stressing about cleaning the house and coming home to piles of laundry. and I do mean PILES! All the kids do sports so you can just imagine!<br />I also suggest setting aside time for yourself, whether it be meeting your gfs for dinner or lunch once a week, or going for a manicure/pedicure. You NEED your alone time, just as much as you need your family time. <br />We also make sure we have a "date night" at least twice a month, without kids. It helps keep us in balance as a couple, and as a result we are better parents. Oh, how I look forward to those date nights with my man!<br />Well, I hope those tips help!Nicolenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-72696738037506669722011-09-13T04:08:01.145-05:002011-09-13T04:08:01.145-05:00Commenting so that maybe I'll get the rest of ...Commenting so that maybe I'll get the rest of these fabulous comments by email in case (because) I forget to come back and see what the people who have it together do!!! =)<br /><br />Because yeah, I'm in the same spot. I want to be PERFECT and it's just not happening. And I just volunteer, not even WORK! Oh my word. The one teeny thing that makes me feel okay every night is if I've made time to sit with my kids and do our bedtime routine - if I have done that, then the other stuff doesn't matter, for at least those five minutes. =)<br /><br />I know it won't mean too terribly much because you have your OWN standards of 'doing a good job' but it looks like you're doing great! Love this blog =)Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00727962830814205876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-56961394409484063812011-09-12T22:48:41.609-05:002011-09-12T22:48:41.609-05:00Hey friend! When I look back over the past 5 year...Hey friend! When I look back over the past 5 years of being a mom, I can see that there is no way to have all of those things working at one time. I would try to let go of that and just go what feels right in your heart. For example, I've been having a blast doing a big PTA project and working up at school this past week, but now I'm feeling that ache because I miss playtime with Jack, so next week I'll focus on that. Josh and I will realize we haven't been on a date in a while, so we'll just schedule the babysitter. Etc, etc. Just do what you can and let go of what's not going strong. Also, we started a daily devo book called the Daily Office, and that has been an incredible blessing to me. It has helped me in so many ways, but I feel like it's helped give me direction in my day (as far as priorites), mainly by the quiet time it "forces you" to have with God. It has given me energy, too, and has made me feel more "balanced". :) love you!laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10559402659753484867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-65811971671924644992011-09-12T22:37:21.978-05:002011-09-12T22:37:21.978-05:00Seriously, I think your post is EXACTLY what I am ...Seriously, I think your post is EXACTLY what I am feeling right now. I. Want. To. Do. It. All. Really, I do. Isn't there some sort of self help group for people that think this way?? Argh!!Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04021520723434468724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-81049194104027503782011-09-12T21:58:43.475-05:002011-09-12T21:58:43.475-05:00Suz,
If you haven't already pick up a copy of ...Suz,<br />If you haven't already pick up a copy of "A woman after God's own heart" by Elizabeth George. it is my absolute favorite book. She talks about priorities, time robbers, how to find the balance and how to get it all done. I remember a while back when you recommended "love and respect" which is now one of my favorite marriage books...this one is right up there with it as far as the impact it will have. You won't forget it. Just for fun I did it with a few close friends of mine. We read through a few chapters and then emailed each other our thoughts (like a bible study discussion) we learned so much from each other and grew together. I know you are asking how to get it all done and adding a book to your plate doesn't seem like it would help LOL but I read it usually just before bed or during my cardio at the gym. Just a little each day ;) You are an amazing wife, mom, friend, and nurse and you already "get er done" like no one else I know. Keep up the good work :)<br />AshAshlieBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182897484388294289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-51458385576578360012011-09-12T21:46:43.620-05:002011-09-12T21:46:43.620-05:00I'm with you on the perfectionist tendencies. ...I'm with you on the perfectionist tendencies. I want to everything to perfection all the time and fail every time. Over the past two years, God has been teaching me to let go of my high expectations of myself and to focus more on who HE is. I pray for an eternal perspective and that my focus will be on God alone. Its true that so many things seem so important in this life, but that is just the way of the world. I struggle often with letting go of my expectations so that I can strive to bring God glory, rather than honoring myself. Honestly, reading God's Word in order to learn more about who He is really is the only thing that helps me to keep things in focus and my life balanced in a way that pleases Him.Triciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05850418374729777986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-58212353011253125272011-09-12T21:38:32.024-05:002011-09-12T21:38:32.024-05:00This is just what I was talking about with a girlf...This is just what I was talking about with a girlfriend at lunch today! She recommended this book which is just coming out called Off Balance: Getting Beyond the Work-Life Balance Myth to Personal and Professional Satisfaction by Christian author Matthew Kelly. Might be worth a read (or audio book) for you in this current battle.LMMnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-59265792121784637122011-09-12T21:32:50.409-05:002011-09-12T21:32:50.409-05:00I wish I had an answer. I'm a SAHM, so you...I wish I had an answer. I'm a SAHM, so you'd think that after being home alone all day, that I'd have everything done so that I could enjoy my kids once school is out. But it seems like there's a never-ending to-do list (esp. this week with 2 birthday parties at our house). I get one thing done and something else pops up. The kids get home and between homework and breaking up their "fights," cooking dinner and spending some time with them, I'm exhausted before I even get them to bed. I sympathize with you. Must. Find. Balance.Alyssahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02516602618145255025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16582505.post-2457782200838512802011-09-12T21:29:52.670-05:002011-09-12T21:29:52.670-05:00If you get a chance Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mah...If you get a chance Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney is a great book! <br /><br />Also as a Christian if we put our relationship with the Lord first by obeying what we know then a lot of the things we do with our time will be more clear. I think it's a struggle we will always have that we have to submit it to God each day. Relationships always matter more than material things and sometimes in our pursuit of material things we can lose sight of the relationships of the people we are trying to provide for.<br /><br />We only have a small amount of time with our children so as much as we can we need to live in a way that we won't regret missed time with them once they are gone. <br /><br />ErinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com