Okay...so, I know that many of you know that Joe and I have been trying to get pregnant for what seems like eternity now. Needless to say, we've gone through many tearful nights and frustrations that only those of you who have also struggled with infertility can truly understand. After numerous monthly disappointments, my OBGYN decided that maybe I should try the lowest dose of Clomid, the fertility drug. (If you remember, I have a bad case of endometriosis, a tumor on my ovary, severely scarred fallopian tubes, etc. and have had multiple procedures and surgery...) I just wasn't producing an egg each month, so we researched it and decided to try Clomid, 50mg (5 teenie tiny little pills)--it has worked for tons of other women in my situation.
Whelp...be careful what you pray for.
Approximately 6-7 weeks ago, Joe and I found out that we were finally pregnant! After our first and only test run of the Clomid (no IUI, nothing else)! Yaaay!!!
1-29-07
Which brings me to my first ultrasound which was yesterday (2-28-07)...a day I will NEVER forget. Joe and I took off work and excitedly awaited our appointment. I crawled onto the table and the technician began to perform the sonogram. Her first words were: "...Oh....this is interesting..."
As I looked over at the monitor, I could tell that there were two sacks on the screen. "Am I having twins???!!!" I said as I looked at Joe and got all excited. We have always dreamed of having twins! (Joe was a twin, My mom is an identical twin)
The tech: "Whelp...you have THREE sacks here"...
Me: "WHAT!?!?! I'm having triplets???!!!??!?!?!?"...I look over at Joe, whose face is white as a ghost and ask him if he needs to sit down. I think to myself, wow! Triplets?! So, I know there are many health concerns regarding TRIPLETS, but for the most part, they turn out OK. And I continue to laugh my "nervous, uncontrolable laugh" that I seem to do in so many inappropriate situations!
The tech begins to take it one sack at a time. She goes to the first sack: one baby about an inch long, heartbeat 160 or so, good, strong.....She goes to the second sack: another baby about an inch long, heartbeat 160 or so, good strong...
She goes to the THIRD sack........SILENCE.....followed by, "Oh" (as if she had just seen something horrible). "WHAT?!" I said, "WHAT was that for....what do you see...Oh Gosh, please don't tell me there are two in there! NO....NO.....Please don't tell me there are two babies in the last sack!"
She slowly raises her head and says softly, "There are two babies in the last sack."
-----------------So follows Suz's emotional, nervous breakdown----------
"I'm having QUADRUPLETS??!?!?!" Okay...this is not fun anymore...Tears are streaming down my face...I lay in silence as the tech continues to examine the other two babies who are all the same size with strong heartbeats..."oh, the health implications..." I think to myself. Sometimes IT REALLY SUCKS BEING A NURSE AND KNOWING ALL THE THINGS YOU KNOW. My head is racing with thoughts of delivering 3 pound babies the size of my hands who live in the NICU for the next year of their lives with multiple physical and mental learning disabilities and handicaps. FREAKING OUT!
So, there you have it...that was yesterday in a nut-shell. It seems like a bad dream. But yes, we are having quads. Here are the pictures:
The top picture is of our two fraternal twins...(no, there are only TWO in this pic..it kinda looks like three)
The bottom picture is of our two identical twins...in the same sack (that, btw, was not a result of Clomid...I would have had twins regardless!)
Joe and I are doing much better today. BTW, today is our 4 year anniversary. Tomorrow is Joe's 28th birthday. We are just completely overwhelmed and terrified of the medical risks involved with this high-risk pregnancy and of the health of these 4 teeny-tiny pods in my belly. I am currently 8 weeks and two days along...but my tummy is already pooching out a little! (I wonder why!?) We know that there are positives throughout all of this, so please don't think we are negative and dreading this. What a blessing! We know! We are just extremely concerned parents. We know that God will only give us what we can handle, and he either has a sick sense of humor, or he thinks Joe and I are some pretty, incredibly, strong people! But we know that we have the absolute BEST support system that anyone could ever dream of. Last night, my parents (after hearing me bawling and having a nervous breakdown all day) picked up their good friend, Mrs. Ellis, and drove all the way to Grand Prairie (1.5 hours) after work to come love on me and Joe and bring us dinner. How incredible is that?! Then they left around 9pm and headed back to Waco...I cry everytime I think about it. So, YES, we KNOW we are going to get through this and that God is holding little old me and Joe in his mighty hands right now.
P.S. Yes, I have found a specialist who deals with multiple births and high-risk pregnancies all the time (thanks to all the wonderful people I am currently working with who God undoubtedly put in my life at this very moment) and they have been INCREDIBLE! They had me come in TODAY for blood work and paperwork and an extensive medical history. TOMORROW they want to perform another ultrasound and start planning for the arrival of my four little wonders. I will post more and more later...sorry the post was SO long...there was obviously SOOOO much to say!
All six of us need your constant prayers!!!
31 comments:
Suzanne, I'm shaking...and I knew this already! You seem a lot better today! I seriously have not been able to stop thinking about you since you told me, and I have been obsessively checking the computer to hear something else from you! Everyone is already praying! Your 4 little babies are such gifts, and even though the first year will undoubtedly be trying, you are not in this alone. You've got many people who love you and will help you and Joe get through this! I will be here (AND THERE) helping you as much as you need. I love you and your 4 sweet, precious babies inside you!
Suzanne-
I'll for SURE be praying for you! You guys are going to be incredible parents and I'm excited for you! Don't worry and just remember that God is in control. This is such an opportunity to REALLY have faith! Love you!!!
Nicki told me about this and all I could say was AWESOME!
I know it is going to be difficult, but it will be so great once you can hold all four.
I am excited for you.
Brent
I've been reading your blog for a while now, but I had to de-lurk to say, "Congratulations!" (I'm expecting, too!) What a blessing! I pray you'll be able to carry them all to term! Hang in there...you'll be a great mom.
Suzanne,
You were the person on my mind as I went to sleep last night, and the first person on my mind when I woke up this morning. I had to come and re-check your blog to make sure I didn't imagine it all!
I can only speak for myself, but through this whole new adventure, I will never judge you for being scared, excited, worried, nervous, joyful, proud, anxious or any of the other feelings that will come and go. All of your feelings are valid and you never have to apologize for being honest!
My prayers are with you and Joe and your 4 little Aggies (I mean, we're assuming they are all Aggies, right?) as you grow and learn and allow the Lord to prepare you!
Even though I don't *technically* know you, I'm sending you a HUGE hug from Waco!
I don't "know" y'all per say, but I can tell they will be blessed to have such wonderful Aggie parents!
Congratulations!
suze,
nothing anyoen can say can make you feel better or prepare you for what is to come, BUT, i will say that the Lord gives you your entire to pregnancy to prepare both physically and emotionally for the children you are about to have. it seems like a long time, 9 months, but boy, let me tell you...it is the perfect time needed!! the good thing is that you ARE a nurse which can seem like a negative right now, but sweetie, you are going to be on top of your game! also, take heart in this and you said it yourself in the post...how cool that God ENTRUSTS you and Joe with 4 kiddos at once!! He knows you have a fabulous support system and solid marriage...this is going to strengthen it in more ways than you can imagine!!
anyway, i am certainly praying for you and looking forward to hearing all the fun details!
OH and keep working out, girl! and might i add...find a place that you can swim, swim, swim!!!
you are going to be FINE and so are those beautiful babies (we know they will be beautiful b/c you and Joe are)!!!
Nic
(on brent's account)
Wow, Suzanne! What an amazing blessing this is that will bring you guys so much joy, bring you so much growth, and strengthen your relationships with each other and with your friends and families, four times over! In this case, I think that having too much medical knowledge couldn't possibly be a bad thing because it will help you to be more prepared, less surprised, and hopefully a bit more objective than those of us who know nothing. You, Joe and those 4 precious babies will be in my prayers.
Sending big hugs from North Carolina -
Audrey
DID I MENTION THAT YOU WILL RADIATE WHILE PREGNANT?! IT IS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU ARE A LOOKER BUT I REMEMBER GRANNY LAMAN ALWAYS TELLING ME WHEN I WAS PREG THAT I RADIATED... I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOUR AND IT IS PROBABLY A GREAT THING I AM NOT THERE... I WOULD PROBABLY HUG YOU TOO TIGHT WITH ALL THE LOVE AND CARE IN MY HEART FOR YOU. Just like everyone else on here, you have been on my mind non-stop. With many concerned and loving tears I have been praying for you, and will continue. Can you imagine 40 toes and 40 fingers you get to hold and love?! They are so small and amazing. You will get to sing to them and just look in awe at such amazing small little miracles... There is nothing like a babies sweet face to look at unless there are 4 at a time... I can't even imagine...WOW... The Lamans are growing again. I can't wait to see you and Joe .. We are going to have some much fun get to know each one everytime you come down... Your babies are already so loved by not only GOD but by your spiritual and maternal families as well...Please continue to keep us posted on your health as well as your babies and Joe.
With Love,
JoLee
Wow, congratulations times 4! I can't believe this news. Our prayers for you, Joe, and the babies over the next few months. Take it easy!!!
Suzanne!!!!!
I'm so excited for you and Joe! So the times you were commenting on my posts, you were thinking, "man I wish I could tell everyone about us!" I know the scariness, and overwhelming feelings you are going through (minus 3 in my case), but it is amazing how much our mighty God has already strengthened my faith and trust in Him! God loves these babies more than you do...so hard to imagine. Here is something I have taped to my computer screen that has helped calm me in the last week or so.
Dearest Suzanne,
I have promised to keep you in PERFECT PEACE to the extent that you trust in ME.
Always,
Your Loving Father
I'm just so happy for you! Hey, we had our first ultrasound yesterday, too! It was the most awesome thing I've ever done in my entire life. I too had tears of joy and excitement and relief! So, have they set a tentative due date yet? I'm 6-7 weeks with due date between the 14th and 21st of October. With multiples, I'm sure its a little different. Maybe we will have babies around the same time!
Lots of love and many prayers from Childress...I'm praying right now!
Love,
Charla
You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away!
Can't wait to meet our four new little sunshine's! The whole Michael family sends there love and prayers from Georgia. We love all six of you!
Suzanne,
It is so hard for me to imagine that you are carrying QUADS!It's hard for me to think about you and Joe and not smile! God knows you can handle this--these things are not accidents--they are God's plan! He knows he can give you 4 children to share His word with!
Oh, and by the way, I'm not the only 26 year old to be a mother of 4 children now!!! Yeah! We can both say that now!
Marcy
Suz,
I totally dido what Lauren said. There will be trying times but God will definitely get you through it. I'm already praising him for what he is doing in your life and those FOUR precious babies!! You and Joe and the babies will be constantly in our prayers. I have faith that God will allow those babies to grow in your womb and come out perfectly healthy:) I love you!
Wow Suzanne!!! I was sooo surprised when I found out, but I think you are going to be such a great mom to those babies!!! I am definately praying for you and thinking about you!
I wonder if maybe you're allergic to your wedding rings because of the pregnancy! Maybe some weird hormone thing...that would be crazy if it was!
Oh my goodness I have not been able to get you (and those 4 babies) out of my head! Congratulations. I am so glad you posted your heart on here and gave us a play by play of what exactly was going through your head! I love your honesty and the comment about how God either has a sick sense of humor or he must think you guys are incredibly strong to handle it. I think we all know that it is because you have always been the type of person to do your best at everything you do so obviously you will do the best at having 4 kids! I'm just amazed at how wonderful God is! But yes, I too agree that he must be getting a good laugh at 40 toes! Can't wait to hear ALL about EVERYTHING that has to do with you guys and these sweet babies!
I don't know you, got to your blog through Lauren's, I also grew up in Arlington and my parents still live there.
It took me a long time to get pregnant with my first so I remember that heart-ache you recently went through. My prayers are on you as you are expecting four. May God bless you with a healthy pregnancy and delivery and four healthy babies.
Can I have one?! Just kidding...I am so happy for you and will be praying for you and your expanding family. I full-on expect to see you guys and your babies in "woman's Day" or talking to Ann Curry on a Dateline special!! God is good!
Omiword Suzanne - I heard about your story "through the grape vine" and have not been able to stop thinking about the 6 of you since!! We are praying for you girl - you're right - SUCH A blessing and what a tremendous compliment to know that God believes you and Joe are strong enough to handle this! I'm so excited for you - here's a big "congratulations" from the Eason family!!
I already emailed you my thoughts but, I am still just in awe of you! What an adventure times 4!
i found you through a friend, and i just wanted to say many many congratulations to you! yes, i can imagine how scared and overwhelmed you must feel, but God's plan is perfect, and He obviously has great faith in you and your husband! my husband and i struggled with infertility just under a year and were on clomid for 3 months...we now have beautiful 15 week old twins! they are a blessing, and we're already talking about the next set of twins we hope to have.:) you are in our prayers, and we know God has His hand on you.
Jenny in MS
www.hollowayfamily.blogspot.com
Hi Suzanne! This is Eden (Swanson) Thompson from Harding - when I saw your myspace bulletin I thought it was one of those spam bulletins that said something crazy in the subject to get you to open it, but then I realized it was actually true! I'm praying for you guys, and I know God will bless you through this :) Take care!
What an amazing story, Suzanne, and so much fun to read since I already know how beautiful the ending was!!
But what a gut-wrenching time it must have been. (so to speak)
Jay
Both my kids were clomid kids too...so thankful for that drug.
GREAT story.
Jay
I am a Mother of 14 mo. old twin girls and seen the little tikes slide. I have searched the internet and can not find it in the United States, any idea as to where they got it from. Thanks so much for your help and I enjoy looking at your blog. With having twins I can not imagine quads! Best of luck to you all :)
Mary
OMG, I'm nervous just reading what you went through, worrying like that. I'm so happy for you, your children are beautiful. Best wishes for a happy healthy future!
Hey Suzanne, I have been going back reading the story of your sweet babies birth and had a couple of questions....(You can email me at amyrbrooker@hotmail.com if you don't mind) Ok, here are my questions....I also have Severe Endometriosis. I have had 4 surgeries for it, numerous procedures done, medications galore, recently had a cyst on my ovary, and I have already gone through one month of 50mg of Clomid and my levels were only a 2.1 meaning I did not ovulate. My Dr has now raised my mg to 100mg of Clomid and he has also put me on a new medication for infertility (I can't think of the name of it right now). Do you have any advice for me? I saw that you got pregnant with just one round of Clomid. What mg were you taking? We thought I may have been pregnant this month but after receiving the results of my bloodwork and the fact that I did not ovulate - well it just brought my husband and I both to tears. We want children so badly. We know that the Lord will provide in His time and we trust that He knows the deep desires of our hearts. But it is still very challenging. I just wondered if you wouldn't mind giving me some advice and things you did to get your blessings! Oh and of course we realize that there is a possibility of multiples with the Clomid and infertility medications. But we want to be parents more than anything and that's that. (BTW my Mom is a twin also so twins run in my family) We trust God completely. Any of all advice would be much appreciated! By the way, I just LOVE your blog so much! Your children are adorable! I am confident that God will bless you in a very special way for reaching out and helping me! Oh you visited my blog today but I also have a blog where I post about my health. That site is www.findingjoythroughmyjourney.blogspot.com if you want to check it out. I have started to post about Clomid yet because I haven't felt a peace about making it public yet.
Thanks again so much!
Amy (amyrbrooker@hotmail.com)
It's been over FIVE years... I can't believe it! It's odd to look back at these first posts, when I know the know the outcome already.
Time's gone by so fast! It feels like yesterday I was reading this very post!
So I wonder how your birth went Suzanne and how are your quads??
I hope all of you are ok
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