One of my best friends, Mari Goerlich, told me about the "five Love Languages of Children"- and the book totally makes sense!
The ideas in this book have helped Joe and me to understand our individual children better---and what type of love language that each child "speaks". The 5 love languages are: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I understand that life will flow so much more smoothly when everyone's "love tanks" are full....and this book is a great reminder of how to make that happen. I've already seen such a dramatic change in all four kiddies in the last couple of weeks, since I have learned how to speak through their specific love language.
I believe that children act out in various ways when they do not feel loved---and as our kids are approaching school age, we are even more determined to do our best as parents in raising empathetic, caring, and loving children.
As we were driving back from Austin today, Drew and Savannah shouted from the back seat: "Dad- Please put your ipod in!" I looked at Joe and cracked up---it is amazing that our 3 year olds know what an ipod is---makes me feel so old. This age of technology is incredible, yet brings a whole new set of problems with it. I can't even begin to imagine what it is going to be like when they are teenagers!...my mind starts to wander...
Cyber-bullying is ridiculous right now, and it is SO difficult to monitor and control. Don't even get me started on teen-texting...makes my skin crawl. Parents need to be educated about texting and ways to combat negative behaviors like bullying, gossip and inappropriate content being shared. I love to read what smart moms are saying over at BlogHer's LG TextEd forum (which features the one and only Jane Lynch, also known as "Sue Sylvester" from Glee! LOVE HER!) There are five posts each week, and every comment left on each post equals a $.50 donation to DoSomething.org.This week’s topic is: “Mobile Meanness: Is Your Child Taking Part”. (Would YOU know if YOUR child was participating in/ or the victim of mobile meanness???) Go check it out and feel free to add your own questions or expert advice.* ;) GREAT INFO!
Another book that I really like is "Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World.
Isn't that so true? It begins early---start (NOW!) teaching those precious babies how to be loving, compassionate adults with the desire to serve others. When it comes to children, meet all of their needs, not all of their wants, etc.
I know for us, it is SOOOOO easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life. I'm tired! Plain and simple. When it comes to parenting, its sad to say- but I can put myself on auto-pilot for hours...just to get through the last half of the day. You know what I'm talkin' about? Just. DONE. Exhausted. TIRED. Tired of using my brain, tired of using my voice to discipline, tired of not being able to hear myself think, tired of just going through the motions...
SNAP OUT OF IT!
I need to constantly be renewing my heart and spirit...and I LOVE doing so- with prayer and a good parenting book (especially while I'm working out---you can find me underlining and writing notes as I read & sweat) Such a goob! But give it a try- it definitely makes the hours go by much faster.
Do you guys have any specific books that I should check out? Would LOVE to hear about your favs!!!
*I have been selected as a BlogHer compensated LG TextEd Ambassador
26 comments:
My favorite book right now is "Parenting Beyond your Capacity". Great book about having a community of people around to help influence your children.
Thanks for this info.! Especially the second book! I was just talking to my husband about this a few days ago. Our twins are the same age as the quads (born the same exact day), and are at an age where everything makes SUCH a huge impact. We're looking ahead to Christmas time.....trying to find ways to be less about gifts and more about helping others.
I saw someone describe auto-pilot as "peripheral parenting", and that stuck with me. So true!
Anyway, loved this post! :-)
I have 2 very good ones, one I recently read and one I'm currently reading. As with you I love me a good parenting book!
The first is Nutureshock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. This one goes against everything that we tend to think. It's a bit radical but with each point they made I was able to think of someone who fit it to a tee (including my own child on some). I found everything in it to be true and it was very eye-opening, it's also backed by tons of research!
The one I am currently reading is called Mind In The Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs by Ellen Galinsky. I am only a couple chapters into it but am loving it already! It focus' on 7 (I think) skills that every child needs and explains why/how/etc. My favorite part, however, is that at the end of each chapter they give you several suggestions to build these skills!
These are 2 books I highly recommend and I have raved about them with my friends already!
LOVE this post! check out The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian. she also wrote Power of a Praying Wife.
also, Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. very good book. he has written some great parenting books.
both of those authors are christians & i love their biblical world view.
hope these help!!
also. if you are looking for a good bible study, i suggest Wisdom for Mothers by Denise Glenn. i'm doing it right now & its wonderful. its an 8 week study on how to be the best wife & mom through the Lord. i love it! really good practical wisdom.
Holy moly Suzanne - your quads have grown UP! The pics you took in the below post are so sweet of them in their blue - seriously, each one of them is gorgeous and unique...love it!
Thx for sharing your book pics...very interested to read the one about raising children in a selfish world - it's so true. We live in SUCH a self-focused society and it's nighmarishly hard to raise kids to think outside of themselves...especially when everything around us is counteracting it!
Hope you all are doing well!
Thanks for the book recommendations. I love the book Wild Things, The Art of Nurturing Boys. Soooo good!
I didn't know they made the 5 Love Languages for children, my husband and myself read the one for adults and both really enjoyed it.
Good to know other parents skin crawls when they see kiddos/teens texting. We have a little one but it makes me sad to think that if this technology drive keeps up that her friendships will be highly based through cell phone texting and online communication vs hanging out and face to face contact with her friends.
I have heard great things about the Love Languages book and will definitely check it out.
As a teacher I used the *Love and Logic* series and I have loved it for parenting too!
we are in the middle of a Parenting Conference right now in Raleigh, NC. Gary Thomas is speaking (author of five love languages) and his new book is Sacred Parenting.
also, we adore James Dobsons two books- Bringing up Boys and Bringing up Girls. AMAZING. in fact, in learning about parenting my children, i am learning SO much about myself and my husband and why we are the way we are, and how much of it is because of the way we were parented.
My two favorite parenting books are "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp and "Creative Correction" by Lisa Whelchel (of Facts of Life fame). Tripp's book really helped me see the importance of discipline...shaping the child's heart for the future! Whelchel has great examples of natural consequences for different behaviors, but my favorite thing about her book is the use of scripture. I'm constantly referencing her book!
"Parenting Is Your Highest Calling" and 8 other myths that trap us in worry and guilt. A GREAT book...rather short and easy to read. Ultimately, we will try to do our best as parents, but God has a plan for our kids and He will use them according to his plan and purpose! It has really helped take some pressure off as far me wondering if I am doing enough...
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Your-Highest-Calling-Eight/dp/1400074207
And then another fave..http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Your-Faces-Their-Hearts/dp/0310484510
This is a book specifically written to parents of strong willed children. I have four kids myself, and my #3 has inspired me to read this book 3 times! Lets just say...he's still alive and he's almost 6, so it is a very useful book!! tee hee
You are SO WISE Suzanne. I'm against teen texting too, but very few people seem to care...they act like it is just the normal thing to do. My kids were nearly grown before there was such a thing as texting, but if I were raising teenagers now, it wouldn't be happening at our house. I would want them to have a cell phone for emergencies, but no texting. Studies are showing that this generation doesn't even know how to talk to each other!
I'm intrigued by that second book. The title alone has me taken in! You are SUCH A GOOD MOM to be concerned about raising unselfish children.
Will definitely have to check out these books!
Yes, completely agree about kids and texting. So much so that I refuse to have texting on my own phone as to set an example that you can live without it!
Another MUST have... Redirecting Children's Behavior by Kathryn Kvols http://www.amazon.com/Redirecting-Childrens-Behavior-Kathryn-Kvols/dp/1884734308/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1285614570&sr=8-1
Also, there are instructor led courses, and a great "Parenting Guidelines CD" with 135 practical parenting tips, on this website http://incaf.com/PublicCart/index.php?main_page=products_all
They're FANTASTIC, and will hopefully build a great relationship with your adorable children so you won't worry as much about the teen years!
The Happiest Toddler on the Block is great too.
Shepherding a Child's Heart and Teach Them Diligently are "Must Reads". Gotta check out some of these titles too! Thanks, Suz.
Huge fan of "Free Range Kids" and also "Nurture Shock". I love the two books you've mentioned here. I definitely have a plethora of love languages to deal with in this house.
I love the book "Your Child's Growing Mind" It looks at stages of child development and helps parents understand that stages their children are in and the percepton they have at the moment.
I have been loving 'Grace Based Parenting' by Tim Kimmel! We're doing the dvd study in our Mom's group.
"Loving our kids on purpose" by Danny Silk. MAJOR paradigm shift. Read it!!
I read "Parenting by the Book" by John Rosemond over & over & over! It is the BEST Bible based book on child rearing I have EVER read. It is my "go to" when I need to be reminded that I am doing what I God calls me to do. It is ALL Biblical and based on truths ~I highly recommend it! Enjoy! :)
Have been to a session on LOve Languages. Such a cool simple concept. Didn't know there was a book, will have to look around shops in New Zealand to see if available. Great reviews thanks
Hi Suz. I "check in" with you daily and always feel renewed when i read your posts. This one realyl hits home. We have to little ones and they very clearly give and receive love differently. And it os important to recognize this. And the 2nd book - where do I start?! I will read both and send with my husband for work.
My parents and I discuss so much how parenting has changed on so many levels. Mostly, that when we were young the parents were concerend with providing in the traditional sense and the kids pretty much just went along with whatever adult activities were taking place. It sure is different now where we are constantly tryng to entertain, teach and have quality time together as a family.
My parents say parenting as a job has gotten a lot harder but it is all of those small moments that are so gratifying and let you know it is worth every minute!
All the best to you, Joe and the Quads. - Julie
Love these book recommendations. I have a few myself but never finish them. I must try harder :)
I have added these books to my "wish list" on amazon! I love finding new parenting books - thanks for the recs!
Great post! My oldest is only 21 months old but these are already things that I'm concerned about. Thanks for sharing the book titles and links. I'm anxious to read both books. :)
My favorite parenting book is the first one I read almost 12 years ago when I was pregnant with our first child - and it shaped everything we do as parents and as a family. It's called Good Families Don't Just Happen by Joe & Cathy Garcia-Prats. They have TEN sons (when they wrote the book, the boys' ages ranged from 2-21), and they are an AMAZING family. All the boys are respectful, well-rounded, hard-working, responsible, and they genuinely love and care about their brothers and their parents. Truly an inspiration! Both Joe & Cathy write about their family/parenting philosophy: how the family all works together and respects each other, natural consequences for behavior, loving each other & cheering for each other.
Highly, highly recommend it!
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