Guys NEED their GUY TIME and gals need their GAL TIME!
We both understand this concept and respect it...So, from the get-go, we have always been great about letting each other go out with friends--even making weekends of it! This fact still remains true, even though we have four babies! Joe still needs to be able to hang out with his guys and go golfing and catch sports games, etc. SO, we trade off! One night, he might meet his friends in town to watch a game on TV and I'll put the kids to bed. So, the next night, he takes care of the kids while I go to the movies with a girlfriend.
Also, when the babies were in quarantine, Joe would get a weekend away from the house to hang with friends/family, and then I would get a weekend away to do the same! When I have a bad day or am going stir crazy inside all day, Joe comes home and kicks me out of the house to do something fun. We trade off....things like that are really important for us and help us keep our marriage strong--definitely a "team approach" to everything.
29 comments:
You guys are the best!!! Chris and I do this and it totally works. I don't like it when my friends can't leave each other EVER. I guess whatever works but this is what works for us! Love both of you.
So glad you posted about this! We have two kiddos of our own and it's hard to find time alone or with other girl/guy friends, but yet so important!!! It's also important for a date night here and there. I'm sure you guys have lots of great babysitters and are able to get out for some "together time".
Best wishes from the Bates family in Florida! We love reading your blog.
Suz, I am sitting ay my desk at work with tears in my eyes. Thank you for your blog. I am a loyal reader and first time commenter. I have one precious little one year old boy named Cade. I appreciate your sharing your life with all of us. You put a lot of things in perspective for me in my married life and my mommy life. Thank you for being an inspiration. You are a wonderful, amazing person. Your marriage is a fabulous example and your children are adorable little angels. Thanks again for sharing.
Robin
robinlvillarreal@aol.com
I have been blogging for a while and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog. I struggle with infertility myself and you guys are quite an inspiration! Anyways, how do you get paid to have these ads on your blog? I see that when I do a post but was never sure if it was worth it or not? If you dont mind me asking, can you give me some details?? Keep Blogging!!
You both sound like you have an amazing relationship! Keep it up!
~Elyse~
Suzanne- I had not read the blog the day you found out you were having the quads until today. I am marveling at the goodness of Almighty God who in His amazing wisdom, love, and mercy has given you four healthy babies. (We have three children and they all were single births but both of our girls spent time in the NICU; I have moments when I look at them and have to stop and thank God for His healing of the girls.) Each time I read your posts, I marvel at His work in your life but to read your thoughts that day and to see the work of His hands today and know where you are now is remarkable. You have quite a testimony and I appreciate you sharing it with strangers. May our sweet Jesus continue to surround your family. Martha
Thanks for sharing all this stuff about you and Joe! You guys are too cute and I totally agree with everything you said-it's nice to read it though and have a little reminder b/c it's so easy to get caught up in the taking care of the kids part. We are actually in Arlington right now and I keep hoping we will run into you guys! :)
Ashley
that's awesome ...sounds like that Joe's a keeper!
I totally agree! My husband and I feel the same way. I think it has made such a difference giving each other that time with friends!
We do this too! I find that when I do not get my night out I get overwhelmed easier. It means a lot to take a time out away from everything. In turn I am much more supportive of his need to get away too. I have learned its okay to not love doing everything together.
Even if your quads weren't a factor, your approach to marriage is an inspiration - very refreshing. Good for both of you!!!!
Hi Suz,
So glad that you posted about guy/gal time. We have 5 month old twins and it has been such a change in finding time for all of these new relationships. Me with the kids, him with the kids, each one of us alone time with each baby, couple time, friend (guy/gal) time, alone time....it is unreal all the different combos (and we only have 2!). I think being organized helps too. We try to plan our week so that time for us to do things to strengthen all of these relationships is utilized well. Also, congrats on being 7 years strong!! I met my husband in college in 2001 too! Looking back at your photos is just too cute! Trina
www.totsites.com/tot/andersontwins
Being married to your very best friend is the best gift God and give you. Having a husband and the father of my child who works with me as a team to do the very best job we can for our family...it's ideal and perfect and God's perfect plan for us. I can so relate to all of your stories...I'm just nodding my head along with you.
And thanks for sharing the story of your Aunt who just adopted from China. We are also adopting from China, so we have made a great connection with them.
Julie in VA
Totally agree! We have plans this weekend (as we do most weekend) for ALONE time! It is wonderful. Especially now that the trio is 2 and much more of a handful!
Whitney
u r sooo right!!
guy/gal time is very important :)
and you both are very lucky!!
My husband and I teach a marriage class at church (been married for almost 12 years) and we stress this. It is very important to have your down time together and apart (both without children).
I just commented on Sunday morning about how us stay-at-home moms (of two small children....sometimes feels like four...heehee) need to be released from our everyday duties every now and then and actually be ourselves (not mommy, not wife, not friend). If you don't get any breaks you start to resent your kids and spouse, not healthy. Even God took a break from creating and Jesus rested while He was on earth as well.
Just my 2 cents!!!
Thanks for your openness and honesty on this blog.
So...I have lurked for a long time, cried and laughed at your stories.... I just wanted to thank you for your post about "guy gal time" I know that , but I think God sent that message to me through you big time yesterday...my husband never asks for guy time and I read your blog yesterday & last night he called asking about hanging out with a buddy all night...So...THANK YOU! You helped me do the right thing!
Oh SUZ!!!...I am so glad you posted about this. Paddy and I do this too. it is just essential!!!! to stay sane with multiples, there is NO spacing and noboby can help each other, so it is all up to Mom and Dad to do EVERYTHING...DOUBLE for us....and you need your time away from everyone touching you...hahahahaha
I've been reading for awhile because I feel like when I'm struggling with just my one baby it kind of gives me a pep talk to see you guys do it with four. I know there are hard times, but I love seeing your positive outlook.
One question I have is how you're keeping up with their baby books! Are you doing a baby book for each of them?
Man - I know it is not right to be jealous but I am a little! You guys just have it together and your kids are totally going to benefit from you being so focused on the needs of each other....
So - I am a TOTAL dork but I think you will appreciate it... go to my blog at beyondthebarn.blogspot.com my 9month old twin Addie has a speaical thank you message for Savanah... I know - I am a dork! I am going to do a family update today too - so it may be the second post down - the title is Thanks Savanah!
Lees
We do the same types of things and it DOES keep your marriage stronger. :)
Thanks for speaking the truth in love! We don't have children, (YET) but as a married couple these are things that we have strived to implement in our relationship hoping that they will make us better parents. I regularly see people have confusion in their marriage relationship when kids are added to the mix and I applaud your commitment to your marriage as well as your family.
Amen to all of this...definitely makes a marriage stronger and keeps everyone from going CRAZY!
Amen sister! I am planning my next girl's weekend right now:) It's so nice that you give each other the break.
Suz,
LOVED all of your answers to these!
I completely agree on needing time away.
My husband and I have been together 18 years and married 12 with nine kids and we have ALWAYS taken our trips away to refresh/regroup. I completely believe it is the key to a successful marriage.- You have to give & take EQUALLY!
:) Debi
ps LOL about Joe getting the big V and you being on the pill just in case!
I couldn't agree more. We all need our grown-up time and time with our friends.
It's so true! I know when my husband asks me to go throw the ball in the back yard he's WAY overdue for some guy time!!!
Hello,
I have never posted a comment before. I LOVE your blog! I live in Minnesota but I did live in Austin for 2 years. Your family is truly beautiful. I have 2 children of my own 4 & (boy and a girl) and I watch two different sets of twins who are now 3. So I kind of have an idea how life goes with multiplies! My question for you is..do plan to go back to work, you had such a great job or are you going to take advantage at being a stay at home mother while you can? Because I can truly say being a stay at home mothere is the HARDEST job in the world but it is the BEST, MOST REWARDING job in the whole world! Thanks for sharing you family!!! Keep having fun with life, you are doing an amazing job!
Leah
leah614@msn.com
Hi there! I have been following your blog for a while now- but wanted to leave a comment. I absolutely love your story, your adorable family, your blog rocks! Its a fairy tale, seriously. I have you bookmarked on my blog and friends will call me and say who is Steece's Pieces and I'll say I have no idea but I love her story and I wanted to share it with all my friends! Keep up the great work- you are an inspiring mother, there should be a class tailored for new moms taught by someone like you!
Much Love-
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