Monday, June 02, 2008

Q & A regarding my relationship with Joe

So, in honor of today marking 7 years since I MET my husband...I thought I would try to answer some of the Suz-n-Joe questions I have received...

April '06



How did you meet Joe?

I was visiting my best friend, Adriane, in College Station (Texas A&M) one weekend. I met Joe at one of Adriane's friend's house and we totally hit it off. He made me laugh harder than anyone else EVER had (and still does to this day). We just had so much in common and kept talking and talking and talking until it was 6:30am! It really was one of those "you just know" type of moments. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for 7 years and counting! (awwww) The next day I left to come back to Waco for the summer and we started emailing and calling, and dated long distance. Read here for the rest of the story: The History of Joe and Suz

Do you ever argue--what about?

Of course! Sheesh! I can't think of anything off hand right now...but YES-of course...like any other couple.

How did your relationship progress from trying to conceive to pregnancy to parenting? Do you miss your married life before the quads? How do you make sure you get alone time together? How has four kids changed your relationship? Any advice?

I married my best friend in the whole wide world! When we think back to our life "BQ" (before quads) we had SO much fun--living in right in the middle of Houston with many of our close friends from college, going out to eat, catching like 1-2 movies a week, going to Astros games, spending money on things we didn't need (clothes, house stuff, etc.) We could definitely see why some people choose not to have kids b/c we were having so much fun, just the two of us. We knew that we would never get this time back in our lives, so we made the most of it everyday. Sure we miss it, we look back on it fondly, but wouldn't change one thing about our lives!

I began having problems--severe pelvic pain--that wouldn't go away & was getting worse. After lots of lab work, tests, ultrasounds, surgery- we found out that I had a moderate case of Endometriosis (read here) . The best medical treatment for Endo is conception and pregnancy. So, we immediately bumped up our "estimated time table" to begin having children (much earlier than we had planned)

After my surgery, it should have been relatively easy to get pregnant, but it wasn't happening. We were doing everything by the book and NOTHING. Come to find out, after more testing, I wasn't ovulating. So, my OBGYN decided to start me off on the lowest dose of Clomid (an ovulation stimulating medicine) and nothing else, no IUI, no nothing...just five little 50mg pills that I took once a day for 5 days. FIRST TIME!

Joe was so supportive of me throughout all of this and made sure that I didn't blame myself for not being able to get pregnant. (All of his tests were normal) I think you all remember the post of when we found out we were pregnant with quads! (read here)

It has been a roller coaster, but I have had the most amazing person by my side through all of it. I couldn't do it without Joe. When I was on bedrest, he would get up, make me breakfast and stuff a cooler full of food and drinks for me by the couch. He would come home for lunch to make me lunch and ditto for dinner. He would go to work all day, then go home, change, let Shiloh out, then spend the rest of the night at the hospital with me until about 11pm--then drive home, sleep, get up for work and do it all over again. EVERY. DAY. We had so much fun while I was in the hospital. We would watch movies and TV while Joe would curl in bed beside me and fall asleep. We actually look back on that time with fond memories.

We always try to make the best out of every situation and we laugh...A LOT! Before we brought the quads home from the hospital, we ate out like every single night, b/c we knew it would be a long time before we could do it again! Once they came home, we would have "mini-dates" in our bedroom with the door shut--watching a movie and curling up under the covers! It was the little things! Our friends and family have been amazing--Joe and I have been able to get out of the house and have dinner dates, movie dates, and weekend dates together, pretty much from the very beginning--we are so blessed!

Now, when we go out, we truly get lost in the moment and appreciate doing little things--even grocery shopping together! But we LOVE coming home and seeing those babies--when we come home late, we always go up to the nursery and gaze at our sleeping wonders. We love them so much and miss them when we are away!

Our relationship has grown so much and is stronger than it has ever been. I think largely due to the fact that we KNEW and PRAYED that we didn't want to "lose" each other when our children came home. We would joke and say, "well babe, see you in about 18 years!" But, we have always lived by this motto: We are bringing the babies INTO our well established marriage/family. We are not changing our family to revolve primarily around our children. Does that make sense? It is easy to get lost in making everything be about the kids. Mom and Dad need to have a strong marriage first and foremost so that the kids can have the best life possible. I guess that would be my advice.

What is the best support a husband can give during a pregnancy?

TELL HER AND TREAT HER LIKE SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN! (even when her face and body is breaking out in acne, she looks like a bloated whale, she has crazy mood swings) Get excited about the baby- tell her your dreams for the child/children. Tell her which aspects/traits of her you want the baby to have. Ask her how she is feeling and really listen to her. Pray with her and for her. Pretty much, anything goes when a woman is carrying YOUR child and goes through everything we women go through during pregnancy, delivery, and after! ;)

Are you having any more children?

OH MY GOODNESS...if I could have a dollar for every time someone has asked us this question--we would be millionaires!
NO!
Joe had a vasectomy in December 07 and I resumed oral contraceptives immediately (the next best treatment for Endo)! We are NOT playing around! haha.

post signature

42 comments:

Amanda said...

I am really enjoying your blog. Your marriage story is inspiring! I believe God can really use your story to show others how to have a healthy, loving marriage!

Amber said...

I am completely shocked. It's taken me a few minutes to figure it out, but I think I have pictures of us together wearing purple bows in our hair, which is so embarrassing. Am I right? I used to be Amber Carothers - Harding. Do you remember Seth Haines?

What a great blog! I'll be checking in on you often.

Jenny said...

You guys are the cutest and are such an inspiration. I think of you often when I'm having a rough day and know that my hands are NEVER as full as a Quad Mom's! Thanks for letting us peek into your lives!

Patrick and Martha Jane said...

What a wonderful post...I can completely identify...we are going through fertility problems due to endo. and it is becoming very frustrating...

I enjoyed this post so much and consider it a blessing to be able to read your encouraging words!

ASHENFELTERS said...

Yeah. I am actually commenting first! Loved the Q and A! You guys seem like such a great couple...
I think/pray for you and your adorable little family often...

Anonymous said...

Happy 7 years of knowing each other! YooHOO!
Okay so I have the perfect job for you and Joe. Motivational speakers!! With your smile and Joe's voice, y'all could do it!! You have such a positive outlook on life and so much enthusiasm.
I really enjoyed reading about you and Joe. You are so right about being a happy, strong couple and bringing children into your lives.
Your babies are so lucky to have you and Joe as parents. You're awesome parents, who love each other and not only that...you know how to have fun.
My husband and I are always joking with our kids...to the point where they ask us "are you teasing?" every day. They never know when we are serious. I have a feeling that's how it's going to be in your house too.
I'm laughing at how y'all made sure there would be no more babies. :)

Cathy in Frisco

Candace said...

Your answers about marriage and keeping it strong, not all about the kids, etc were right on. My husband and i are the same way. It was an adjustment because we were married almost three years before our son was born. Now five years(this saturday is our anniversary) and we are still strong!lOVe the blog and kids are adorable (especially Ben's smile)

Jessica said...

Hey Suz!
You don't know me and I can't really remember exactly where I came across your blog!! But it is my favorite blog to read every day. My name is Jessica and I am married with a 4 year old daughter Hallie and a 1 year old son Kade. We live in North Dakota. I have to say that besides my kids your kids are soooo adorable!! Ha I love little Savannah with her bows. Well I hope all is well and I am always looking forward to seeing new pictures of your kids!! I would love to get your email address and keep in touch as "email pen pals". Hope to hear from you soon. Take Care

Jessica Opp
Underwood, ND
tobijess@beu.midco.net

Collegegirl said...

Thanks for sharing! Love how you laugh when you can ;) I found it funny that you said NO to more children in caps! Keep up the HARD work!
~Elyse~

Mrs. Mordecai said...

I like hearing about your bedroom dates. That sounds like a great idea. Thanks!

Salsygirl said...

That is a great post Suz!!!
And to Joe.....welcome to the Tracy/Steece family Seedless Grapes Club...as your Tracy clan calls themselves!!!!!!!

keely and andrew said...

I have an "endo" question... did your symptoms go away after your pregnancy with the quads? I'm currently struggling with all the symptoms and we're looking at what to do next. :) keely.snyder@gmail.com

Barron Triplets said...

Good thinking on not playing around! I did my part but hubby didn't take care of business and we are now expecting a "Surprise" fourth!

Anonymous said...

It's very nice of you to take the time to answer people's questions. I was laughing at your last answer because of what happened to us. We had two failed vasectomies and the second time, it was TWINS!!! When the twins were born 2 yrs. ago, we had 5 children under the age of 5. I wouldn't change a thing now. It was meant to be.
I totally agree with you about how important it is to have a good relationship with each other before kids.

Mommy of five

My name is Tammie said...

Hey, we got pregnant with the trips after our first dose of only 50mgs of Clomid!!! Thought that never happens!

I love that you and Joe are still so wonderfully close. You are a wonderful family.

Anonymous said...

I read your blog everyday, but have never posted. Just wanted to tell you, you and Joe are true blessing to everyone that visits this site. For many reasons, but your "light" is definitely shining. May God continue to bells you both and your beautiful babies.

Casey's trio said...

Suz,

It is so awesome to read about the wonderful relationship you have with Joe! Your family is so precious. Thanks for sharing with the world...HA!

The cutest twins said...

What a passionate story! Which you happy anniversary!
You look very nice in that picture!

sunday said...

Long time reader, first time commenter! I really have enjoyed your blogg. I have one 1 year old and often think about you, and think "how do they do it". I could NOT imagine having 4 newborns, but you guys have done it beautifully. I just wanted to tell you that I orderd a super cute smocked strapless dress from Francescas! I LOVE it. You should be getting a discount there b/c all my girlfriends have gone to that website now b/c they loved the dress. Just thought I would let you know.
Sunday from Black Mountain, NC

Bethany said...

Such good advice about keeping your relationship first. My husband and I struggle with that and we "only" have two kids. One of these days you will have to write a book in all of your "spare" time!

Kari said...

Thank you for that beautiful post about you and Joe's relationship. It sounds as thought you have a great prospective on family and continuing to make God the focus of your lives. That is just amazing! Thanks for the blog updates - I appreciate them, especially when the numbers at work are boring me! :)

Blessings,
Kari in Littleton, CO

Michelle said...

What a great post! It's still amazing to me how many people struggle with infertility. My husband and I tried for 7 years. (Endo and PCOS) After several treatments that did not work, the GOOD LORD blessed us with one on our own.:) He is now 13 months old.
I wanted to echo what you said about bringing the children into your family, not letting them become/take over the family. We had several friends that thought a child would be the end of us socially. The only difference has been that we need a high chair at the dinner table now!

Leah said...

Love this post! You guys seem great together. I don't know you, but just reading about you, you can feel that.

Anonymous said...

If I could ask, where are you in that photo?

Lindsay & Joseph Dyess said...

Hello Suz,
I would love to email you about some questions I have.
Will you please send me your email address?
lindsayclarkdyess@mac.com

Also, I love your blog and your babies are precious!
Lindsay

The Cup Is Half-Full said...

Boy, you left no room for guessing on your answer to "are you having more children?". That got me laughing! I guess every woman knows her limits :O) Thanks for sharing.

Tracie
http://thecupishalf-full.blogspot.com/

Suzanne said...

anon- acupulco!

Page said...

Oh, man, I am going to refer back to this post whenever I get pregnant so that I can refer the hubby to it! This way he'll know exactly what to say/do when I'm pregnant! LOL!

The Ryan Family said...

Hi there ~

I have really enjoyed reading your blog. You both are an inspiration to parents and married couples everywhere! We have 6 kids (1 set of twins)...All teenagers now. Don't you feel sorry for us? ha ha!! Thanks for sharing your lives with us.

Bill & Angie Ryan
Portland, Oregon
billandangie@juno.com

Amy S said...

First time commenter here, I echo many other's comments - you guys seem just amazing! I absolutely LOVE reading your blog! Thank you so much for opening up your lives to us! I believe you are helping many people!!! Oh - and I just ordered your mother's day present for my sister's birthday and I love it! Thanks so much!

Amy in Plano

Becca Edge said...

Your story is so inspiring! I've been following your blog since you were pregnant with the kiddos. I ran across it from Tony and Lindsay Slate's blog. I love finding a new post and seeing the new pictures. Your family is adorable!

Nikki said...

Your relationship with Joe is so cute and such an inspiration! Congrats on 7 years together!

Rachel said...

I love your story, it's so sweet. And your attitude and outlook on life is inspiring.

I have mild endo and recently went to the doctor because we have been trying for quite some time. She told me the first thing she wanted to do if my labs came back normal was start me on the lowest dose of clomid possible and not to worry about high order multiples. I immediately thought of you. HA! You could tell her a thing or two. (or four) :)

Thanks for sharing and God Bless!

Rachel
rachel@spamcop.net

Joy said...

Love this post and love your moto as parents...we've tried to adapt the same moto by incorporating the girls in to our lives and not letting them control our lives. Big difference. Its made all the difference in the world to have a strong, supportive husband. I'm so glad you had Joe with you throughout your pregnancy and throughout this crazy journey we call parenthood. You guys are awesome and such an inspiration to so many!

Charity Donovan said...

Holy Canoli Suz! I cannot believe how similar our stories are...Our quads are the 1st round / 50mg Clomid quads as well. My OB found "triplets" then sent me to a high-risk specialist & he found the 4th baby. 2 of our little guys are identical as well...just crazy! I wouldn't change it for the world though...they are amazing & life is just different. So many people look at us & think so negatively about multiple babies & I say we're just 4 times blessed!!!

Kelli said...

Suz,
I feel like I know you from reading your blog daily. You & Joe are such an inspiration to my husband and me. We enjoy following your blog! We have a 1 year old little girl that just had her first UTI and we are going to have the tests run to make sure she doesn't have reflux. When the MD told us about the test...I though of you immediately and understood what the test would entail.

I have just a few questions....what does Joe do for a living? Do you miss working as an RN? I am a physical therapist and I often struggle with balancing mommy life and my professional life...and/or would I miss the professional life if I was at home all the time? If you have time to answer sometime I would love to hear.


May God Continue to use your family in ways that you have never imagined. God Bless!!

Kelli - Kentucky

Barbara Manatee said...

You two are such an inspiration! What a fun and healthy relationship!

Britney K said...

I love reading your blog. This post was so good for me to read. I'm about to deliver and we are all kinds of caught up in the hustle and bustle of baby. It was just a good reminder of keeping life as real as possible. And we're only having one! Thanks for sharing your life with us!

Lolly said...

Suz,

I love keeping up with you and the fam. You are right on about putting the marriage first. So many people are kid centric and the marriage takes a back seat and slowly disintigrates one step at a time. Parents having a strong relationship is great security for your kids.

All of my kids are out of the house and it feels just like it did before kids. We kept our marriage alive and a priority and it is still a blast 30 years later.

Melissa (harleyjean) said...

Hey Suze,

Just wanted to thank you once again for being such a wonderful inspiration to the rest of us. I posted a few weeks ago, asking about the black background you used for the calendar pics, and since then have found out that I am pregnant with TWINS! Like you, I suffered from endo and went through ONE CYCLE of Clomid (and also IUI) and was blessed with a twin pregnancy. :)

My husband and I have been married for 10 months, but together for 12 1/2 years, and I think that it's our longterm relationship and commitment to one another that is going to make the transition from 2 to 4 much easier.

Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

~Melissa :)

SG said...

I laughed out loud when I read the NO!
Even though I thought that is what you would say, I too had wondered.
Wise words Ms Suz! you are such a great encourager! Love having this window into your life!

taralauren24 said...

hello!
I came across your blog through a friend of mine. Your love and dedication to one another is very inspiring, not to mention you have the cutest 4 babies ever!

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